_______
Tuesday, August 05, 2008

i cant bear to open my eyes.

tell me if this is the best for us.


cos i was never the one to make the decision
or to even sway you in the least bit.
those futile pleas
maybe it's shakened you in a tiny way.


night.

what's with the word good when nights are never easy to get through.

gngbgr


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poserjac at`9:28 AM


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

diagnosed depression and prespcribed prozacs
license to moodswings and much much more.

i dont feel like setting up another email.
coming up with another blog url.
doing stuff like that's so juvenile.
thanks for pointing out.

personal freedom and space.
i respect all that and i think it ought to come in a pair.
shouldnt it work both ways?

double standards and hypocrisy.
who's living on a flock of feathery rules well-fringed by lies.
and who's the one accomodating?

i can only say
it's worth the wait.


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poserjac at`10:32 AM


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

i feel so empty.
to the beat of my heart.
hilary duff. fine, i cant feel my heart at all.
there's so much i want to say, to tell you, just to make you feel better.
you sounded like you've lost everything, the screw-up's very much caused by me, indirectly or directly, both ways, no matter how i interpreted, has made me feel extremely guilty.
yet i cant just make empty promises.
i cant guarantee you anything.

i hate myself sometimes, why is it forever you who run or fly down to me when i need you.
i want a role reversal, i want to be right by your side when you need someone.
but it seems impossible.

i want to see you.
you dont want to see me ever again.

i value my pride and went FINE.
when actually it's not fine with me at all.

let's just forget about everything.

i believe in myself. i'll get over you.
but no, it's just you and you and nothing else running through my mind for the whole day.

i lost you.
lost myself.

and there's nobody standing beside me to make everything alright.
i refused to accept what they've said.

i AM hunting around for heartbreaks.

but i'm not giving up on fighting for what i want.
there'll eventually be a day when i hold possession of what i need.


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poserjac at`6:39 AM


Monday, October 03, 2005

moved.
(:

http://break-it.blogspot.com